Sunday, March 22, 2015

Anti- semitic faux digital blackface-style Jew performance art or how I learned to stop worrying and love social media

Ya know I've been called a whole lot of things in my life. Some good. Some bad. Some downright evil, but up until today it has never been suggested that I engage in "anti- semitic faux digital blackface-style Jew performance art".

This guy is Amy Crawford's biggest twitter supporter. Now all candidates get stuck with some strange supporters, but this is beyond weird. Someone needs to get this guy help before he hurts himself. Maybe this is the reason that he, a self proclaimed former millionaire, had to move to Uptown and slum it with the rest of the hoi polloi such as myself.

Really click on this pic and behold the mania and the hatred. This is the post at Uptown Update he is referring to.

Amy Crawford--The Final Takedown!! Zap! Pow! Bam!

I've purloined small sections of this from comments earlier made at either the Uptown Update blogspot page or the Uptown Update Facebook page. Thank you to those who posted the comments. At this point I don't recall exactly where I got what as I'm still suffering from my PTSD. Post Traumatic Shiller Disorder. Really this has been sitting unpublished for weeks and I simply don't recall what I purloined.

Who is Amy Crawford? How many residents of the 46th Ward had ever heard of her prior to her initial campaign announcement? My guess is her immediate neighbors in her condominium building and maybe a dozen others. Maybe.

Now she's lived in Uptown for over ten years. Anyone recall seeing her at a public meeting say prior to October 5th of last year when her candidacy became public? Anyone? Bueller? I didn't and I follow politics like Rahm Emanuel follows his poll numbers. The sum of her local political involvement seemed to be some donations to local candidates. She did take some time off to work for then Senator Obama's Presidential campaign in 2008 in her home state of Ohio. Many good things have come from Ohio. John Glenn. US Grant. William Tecumseh Sherman and the Wright Brothers. I wouldn't put Amy Crawford in that illustrious company; however, after she loses the election I will be willing to discuss a fundraiser to send her into space like John Glenn. Does kickstarter have one way into space fundraisers? I kid I would want her to return so I could mock her some more. Thpppppt!

Now Amy Crawford does have an impressive academic and work record. She graduated from the University of Chicago Law School. If you want to impress people go to Harvard. If you want to learn the law go to the University of Chicago Law School. She clerked for a federal judge in Northwest Indiana and has worked for Kirkland and Ellis for about ten years. Now she's a partner at Kirkland and Ellis which is arguably the best law firm in the country. Now "partner" at Kirkland is a bit different than "partner" at some other firms, but there is no arguing that she's a successful attorney. It seems likely though that she's right at the cusp of being made an equity partner or being shown the door. It's up or out at Kirkland, but it seems like she's trying to find her own path out of Kirkland. I intend to stand in her way on that path yelling "None Shall Pass".

Now why did a hard working attorney who recently adopted an infant boy with her partner decide to run in a ward where she had little prior involvement? Well if you follow the links at this Uptown Update post you may get some ideas. Seems the former campaign manager for Denice Davis has some ideas and names like Shiller come up and groups like ONE are mentioned. I suggest those of you interested read through my incisive and witty comments on the post also.

Some of you may be asking the following question:

IrishPirate why the anti Amy feelings?

Simply put she's running against my candidate and I think James Cappleman is better suited by experience and temperament to be the alderman of our fine ward. Does Amy Crawford likely have a higher IQ than James? Yep. I likely have a higher IQ than her and never trust a man who says trust me, but I am in no way suited to elective office. Considering what I've seen from her campaign I don't think she's suited for office. Just her smug looks at the various forums and the flat out bullshit way she answers questions differently depending on the answer she suspects the questioner wants makes her unsuited for office.

Come on Amy
Let's do the twist
Come on Amy
Let's do the twist
Take me by my voting hand
And go like this
She can twist though.

Look to question 30 on the IVI/IPO questionnaire she filled out.

Do you support Casino gambling in Chicago?

I am against Casino gambling in Chicago.

Then on the Sun Times questionnaire she said the opposite. It's question 9.

Do you support, in general concept, establishing a gambling casino in Chicago?



Saying exactly what each endorsement board likely wanted to hear!

You know looking over her answers on various questionnaires is a veritable treasure trove of bullshit. That's our Amy!

Here's the question and answer on her IVI/IPO questionnaire.

What measures will you vote for to reform the city pension plan and ensure its solvency?

A pension is a promise. The courts have been clear that pension benefits offered to existing workers cannot be diminished. All options need to be on the table to ensure we dedicate proper funding to the mismanaged City pension funds and protect vulnerable retirees on a fixed income. I have discussed potential revenue-raising options above. I also believe we need help from the State to fund teacher pensions.

Then this is the Crawfordian bullshit on the Sun Times questionnaire:

Do you support restructuring the pension systems, inevitably reducing benefits, to put the funds on sound financial footing?

Yes or No: A qualified yes.

Look at the links again so you can see and read all her "nuance". It's amazing that each endorsement questionnaire provides the type of "nuance" likely to garner her the endorsement of the particular group.

Look to question 30 on the IVI/IPO questionnaire she filled out.

Then on the Sun Times questionnaire she said the opposite. It's question number ONE. Which probably gives you an idea of what answer the Sun Times was looking for. They got the answer they wanted.


Now watch the video Cortez Duquette put together where Denice Davis eviscerates Amy Crawford for taking conflicting positions on more low income housing in the 46th Ward. Sadly, I don't think anyone will be surprised that Amy Crawford said one thing in one forum and another thing at a forum hosted by a group that supports more low income housing.


More recently the Second City Cop website took her on. I freely admit I was one of the people who contacted them. It looks like there were others too.

To make a long SCC cop post short Amy is actively seeking the involvement of the worst members of the Shillerista coalition. The cop haters, the cop watchers, the people who actively make it more difficult to arrest the scum bags who deal drugs and shoot up the neighborhood and their fellow human beings. Read the link. Don't believe me.

Now there is plenty wrong with American policing, but aligning oneself with those folks is NOT going to make policing better. To quote the Rolling Stones to those idiots "every cop is a criminal".

A gentleman was shot and killed by the police yesterday at the Nawlins' airport while menacing people with a machete and he had home made explosives on hand also. Cop who shot and killed the man also shot one of the people he was attacking. Thankfully that TSA agent will recover and thanked the cop. What would Amy's cop hating supporters say? They would ask why the police didn't taser the machete wielding man or why they didn't talk him down or offer him warm milk and a cookie never acknowledging that the entire event from beginning to shots being fired probably lasted less than 30 seconds. Nope if an event like that happened in Uptown the marching would be going on.
The demands would be made and the mother of the departed would be inundated with attorneys looking to sue the police department because her machete and explosives wielding son was wrongfully killed by the evil police.

Again there is plenty wrong with American policing and I believe in police wearing cameras and some other stuff that a whole lot of cops don't like, but I'm not naive enough to believe that cops are a bigger problem than criminals. Amy's erstwhile allies are not on the side of mom and apple pie. They are on the side of the criminals and don't YOU forget it MISTER and MS AMERICA. Gawd, did I just channel some Fox news idiot?

Now today in the snail mail I received a very funny flyer from the Crawford campaign. Yea Team Amy! It had cartoons and basically portrayed her as a crime fighter and Cappleman as a crime enabler. To quote my dead Irish dad she couldn't put a patch on Cappleman's ass when it comes to fighting crime. I'm not sure exactly what that phrase means, but I know it's not complimentary. I should have asked my dad, but he was too busy telling me to "shut the fuck up when you're talking to me" so I never got around to it. I guess I could have explained the paradox of shutting the fuck up and talking at the same time, but since he had been an All Ireland championship boxer and was quick with his fists discretion was the better part of valor. In 1972 he decided to try to hit one of my older brothers and said brother knocked his ass out with one punch which was something that the Irish sporting newspapers of the forties and fifties said couldn't be done. It was his only loss by knockout. He was never the same again and died of shame ten years later when it became apparent that even one of my sisters was tall enough and man enough to kick his butt.

Anyhoo I have a hard time picturing an Alderman Crawford taking the time and making the effort like Cappleman did with Weiss Plaza. Now I wouldn't expect Amy to do that even though she lives a block over. Someone might have to explain to her where Weiss Plaza is. Follow the links in the link. Then since many of her loudest and bestest supporters are clearly gang enablers would she really be willing to take the gangs on? I just don't know. I suspect she's only using them and would cross them in a heartbeat if necessary and if it offered her any short term gain. Just the way she changes her positions based on who she is talking to and what answer she suspects they want.

Speaking of suspects some people are suggesting that Amy Crawford offered Denice Davis the position of being her Chief of Staff if elected in exchange for her support. I doubt it and I know that Denice Davis is smart enough not to believe it if it was offered. It's clear that Amy Crawford will say about anything to get elected. I was going to make an allusion to the famous Klondike Bar commercial asking "what would you do for a Klondike Bar", but I realized that Amy is a lesbian and some idiots would accuse me of making a subtle anti lesbian jab. I don't do subtle very well. You may have noticed that. As for Amy's lesbianism this isn't Utah and I doubt many 46th warders will be swayed one way or another by it. Anyway in a gay man versus lesbian battle where would the anti gay crowd go? Probably to Crew to watch some sports with Aaron Schock's abs. Now that was a jab at Aaron and his abs.

Saturday, March 21, 2015

A neurotic blast from the past

Another Service of the IrishPirate. Lost Photo Retrieval!

Well here's that photo that the Amy is Awesome campaign posted last week and then "misplaced". It's such a nice photo. It made me sad to think it disappeared. In fact before posting this I checked with my 1st amendment attorneys over at Dewey Cheatham and Howe. Some Amy is Awesome supporters have interesting views of the First Amendment. In Amyworld anything critical of Amy is verboten. Even parody! Naughty naughty.

Please send a letter to my IP provider asking that this be taken down. PLEASE.

Right now I will just post the photo. Others can discuss the associations that some of the people in this photo may have.

Saturday, February 21, 2015


Purportedly, a photo of a certain former Uptown Alderperson voting earlier today at Truman. I didn't take this photo as I wasn't there. Wink wink.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

An Uptown Rant. From an Uptown Ranter/Ratter. 400 Days Until "D" Day. The "D" doesn't stand for DENICE!

I saw the new produce store opening thread and it got me to thinking.

Do you know why we lack small independent produce stores in this neighborhood? Do ya?
James "Best Practices" Cappleman.

How, you ask? Well perhaps some of you, like me, were unaware that Cappleman is responsible for the drop in the percentage of ethnic minorities who live in Uptown. My "Friends" over at Uptown Uprising pointed this out the other day using 2010 Census data. Now I was under the impression Cappleman didn't get elected until 2011, but perhaps my drinking has had a negative effect on my internal memory chip.

I guess the drop in the hispanic population from 2000-2010 was Cappleman's fault and not because of a huge decline in Mexican immigration to the USA and changing housing patterns among hispanics who do immigrate here. Now most hispanic immigrants skip living in the city and move directly to suburbs. Do they do this because of proximity to factories and other jobs? Hell no! They do it because James "then non alderman" Cappleman forced them to.

Now Cappleman didn't move to Uptown till about 1998 or so. I'm sure my good friend and expert on all things Uptown and/or Jesus related, JP Paulus, will verify that. He probably has a spreadsheet somewhere detailing the moves of every person into or out of Uptown since approximately 1995 based on race, ethnicity, gender, income, sexual identity, hair color and membership in various evangelical religious groups. I'm not on that spreadsheet since I was here before JP and after JP. BJ and AJ so to speak to use an BC/AD like theme. Or to be politically correct I could call it the "Common JP Era". Don't want to offend any non Christians out there.

Since the hispanic population in Uptown dropped from approximately 40 percent in 1990 to 20 percent in 2000 we may have to blame either Helen Shiller or me. Perhaps even JP since he was here then. Or how about my buddy Jon Trott?

Seems Trott has come out of his online shell. He's now posting at Uptown Uprising as Johannes de Silentio. That's cute. It's a reference to Kierkegaard. Jon's as much of a "knight of faith" as I am a champion poodle breeder.

What I wanted to point out though is that we are exactly 1 year, 1 month and 4 days from "D-Day". 400
days to "D-Day" so to speak. What is "D-Day" you ask? February 24th, 2015. Aldermanic election day. Or as I prefer to think of it the(D) day the counter counter-revolution will be defeated!

Seriously, have a drink or three and head over to the Uprising Facebook page.

To paraphrase from the "Tao of Caddyshack":

To win, you must know your enemy, and in this case your enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior voter organization. And that's all she wrote.

Next election the varmints will largely be leftists who believe that recent Uptown Past was better than current Uptown Present, and that Uptown Future should return to those glorious days of near daily knifings, gunshots and gangs literally battling for the traffic island at Montrose and Broadway/Sheridan. Those of us who disagree will be labeled racists, downscale burghers, property manipulators, uncaring etc etc etc. Just be glad this isn't Cuba circa 1958 or some of our Che T-shirt wearing opponents would line many of us up against a wall and shoot us. Hyperbole you say? Perhaps. Perhaps not.

Perhaps I'll have another beer.

Speaking of beer I was out last night drinking at my favorite neighborhood watering hole and ran into one of my neighbors. My neighbor, let's call her "HB" for Hot and Bothered, enlightened me on the recent goings on among the neighborhood and outside the neighborhood leftist horde who oppose Cappleman, apple pie and Chevrolet.

Apparently the young woman who runs Uptown Uprising has moved out of Uptown. Can it be true? Say it ain't so. I had hoped she would run for alderman against the Capplemaniac. Having a real dyed in the wool, I like references to wool it makes me think of Ireland, the Farm at the Zoo, and sheep, hardcore leftie would not only amuse me, but would enhance Cappleman's fundraising by a factor of "C". "C" in that case stands for "Che".

It's also nice that her first name, Stavroula, is not only cool, but begins with a "S". Just imagine Alderwoman Stavroula! I could have gone from PTSD, Post Traumatic Shiller Disorder, to Post Traumatic Stavroula disorder. Keep that whole "S" thing going. I know Stavroula is a Greek name, but it sounds vaguely Slavic. Then all we would need is Boris and Natasha to run her campaign and I and my other personality would obviously be Rocky and Bullwinkle.

Sadly if Stavroula truly has moved out of the ward then she won't be running. Besides the joy of her having a cool name it would have annoyed candidate "Necie" and the out of ward clowns that seem to be advising her. "Necie" reminds me a bit of Ann Romney. Now I know at first glance that seems like a silly statement, but go with me here. Both Ann and "Denice with a C" have a sense of entitlement as large as the moon Oberon circling the planet Uranus. Why did I pick that moon, you ask? I just like typing the word "Uranus". Makes me giggle.

I expect and hope for lotsa giggles in the next 400 days before the election. Now it's possible that Denice Davis or some other lefty candidate could beat Cappleman. All they need is space aliens to land in Uptown and turn all likely voters who own property into Scotsmen. As Monty Python pointed out Scotsman can't play tennis and I'm fairly sure they couldn't vote in an Uptown election. That's the ticket. The lefties get the BlancMange to invade Uptown, turn Cappleman voters into Scotsmen, and voila....Denice will be alderman!

It's evil genius I tell you. Move while you can. Save yourself the horror of waking up with a kilt and bagpipe music playing on your clock radio!

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Chicago Flag Rules.

Interesting story on our Flag.

Sure our politicians generally suck and taxes are going up, but we do have a cool flag. Add in the total consciousness the Dalai Lama promised me on my deathbed and life is good.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Council "Remap" Wars

Boys and girls, ladies and gents, the results of the 2010 Census have been in for awhile. Now our various aldercritters fight among themselves to keep their jobs and redraw the ward boundaries for their own personal benefit. Public servants they ain't.

Rob Paral at his eponymous named blog has some wonderful charts you can look at that highlight the population changes in Chicago between 2000-2010.
Total(2000) Black White Latino Asian Other

2,896,016 1,053,739 907,166 753,644 124,437 57,030


2,695,598 872,286 854,717 778,862 144,903 44,830

Essentially the city lost approximately 181,000 blacks, 52,000 whites, and 12,000 other. Whatever the hell "other" means. The city also gained 25,000 latinos. Total population loss of about 200,000 human beings, no matter how you label them.

Essentially the breakdown is now this.

32 percent black.

32 percent white

29 percent latino

5 percent Asian

2 percent other.

Then you need to factor in the voting age population because of various federal court decisions. Because of age and other issues black voter turnout is generally less than white voter turnout. Latino turnout is usually way less, like way, than either black or white turnout. That's because of age and citizenship issues. Asian turnout is similar to Latino turnout and for similar reasons.

Voting Age Population

Total Black White Latino Asian Other

2,073,968 643,800 752,631 524,478 122,720 30,339

Without factoring in citizenship issues we can see that the universe of potential voters is 36 percent white, 31 percent black, 25 percent latino, 6 percent Asian, and 2 percent other. If you factor in citizenship issues the percentages of white and black potential voters goes up significantly.

If you doubt me check out the official Chicago Elections website and look at vote totals out of various wards. In the February 2011 election the largely latino 14th Ward cast 6500 votes. The 19th Ward which is loaded with middle income whites and blacks cast 23,900 votes and the largely black and middle income 6th and 8th wards cast over 15,000 votes apiece. Hell, compared to the largely latino 12th Ward, which cast 4900 votes, the 14th ward is a voting engine. In other words black or white wards often produce 3 to almost 5 times as many votes as a latino ward. That fact means that if you want to draw a ward that will likely produce a latino aldercritter, the latino population of that ward needs to be overwhelming in terms of absolute percentage of the population. Say 80 percent or more.

Whew, those numbers are hurting my teeny brain.

Now let's discuss the concept of equal representation. The courts have found that ,with the exception of the US Senate, any voting district has to be roughly equal in population to other similar voting districts. That means that each Chicago ward needs to have about 53,900 people when remapped. Right?

Wrong. At least according to the two competing maps the various members of the city council have filed with the City Clerk. The black caucus proposal has wards that vary in size by roughly 4600 people. The latino caucus proposal has wards that vary in total population by about 2600 people. That's a deviation of about 2.67-4.7 percent off the 53,900 target number. That means the largest ward has about 8.5 percent more residents than the smallest ward. Trust me I'm a deviate. I understand deviation.

Now why would our esteemed elected officials create wards of such disparate size?

So they can keep their jobs?


Under the black council proposal virtually all of the "black wards" are 1500-2500 under the target number. Only one "white ward" is in that range. That would be the 19th ward which is 2400 under the target number. My guess is they shifted as many blacks as they reasonably could out of the 19th Ward to neighboring black wards to shore up the numbers in those wards.

Two competing maps means a costly voter referendum in March. Yea!

In reality both maps are so out of whack with federal court decisions regarding equal representation and size of districts that a legal challenge is almost inevitable. Hurrah, more taxpayer money down the spiderhole.

By the time this is all done we could be talking 70-100 million dollars in referendum and legal costs just to keep the number of black alderman from falling from 19 to 17. Under the current black caucus proposal 18 black alderman would likely get reelected. Yeah, babee. Under the Latino proposal perhaps 17 black alderman would get reelected.

Now before you think that the black alderman are fighting to maintain black political power I suggest you listen to columnist Laura Washington from Chicago Week In Review last week. Click on the December 9th video. "This all about protecting their jobs", said Lakeview Laura.

Here are some links to the two maps and some commentary.

Black Caucus Map

Latino Caucus Map

Click through some of the recent stories Greg Hinz from Crain's has written recently. He uses such words as "bizarre", "phantom", and "votepacking".

The Welles Park Bulldog has some stories. Follow the related links to see how it may affect specific north side wards.

Here is a map the Welles Park Bulldog created that shows the actual boundaries of some north side wards in the black caucus proposal.

Here is a map that they created which shows how the Latino proposal affects some north side wards.

The Latino caucus map takes the 47th Ward as far east as Clarendon at Irving. That is nutz. Because of being less "deviate" than the black caucus map I think the Latino Caucus map has a better chance of passing federal scrutiny. However, it really butchers the 47th Ward.

In reality the map we end up with will likely be very different than both proposals.

Give me ten grand, some computer experts and a week and I'll give them a map that will pass federal scrutiny and won't butcher wards into ridiculous shapes. It would not have wards that vary in population by more than 1 percent or about 540 votes.

My map would likely have 17 black wards, 17 white wards, 13 latino wards and 3 hispanic influence wards. Which is what I suspect a federal court will order after tens of millions of taxpayer dollars are flushed down the toilet.

I just noticed a Tribune editorial on a supposed "doomsday" map. Bring it on!

Perhaps Rahm is holding that map as a threat if the Aldercritters don't come to some reasonable agreement that will withstand judicial scrutiny.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Take Money, A Whole Lot of Spending Money..Say ONE MILLION dollars

to do to do to do it right, child.........I got my mind set on you.

Take it away George Harrison.

My coke dealer just got out of County yesterday and consequently I'm feeling rather perky today.

I decided to do a quick summary of the cash that was spent running for 46th Ward Aldermen earlier this year.

I got the numbers I am using from the state campaign disclosure website. If you have no life like me and are tweaking out feel free to run the numbers for yourself.

In coming up with these numbers I used actual expenses documented by the various campaigns and in kind contributions. An "in kind contribution" could be free office rental, phone services, food, internet design etc. I tried to subtract any "loan repayments" the various campaigns may have made.

These numbers are not exact and are not meant to be definitive. They provide an approximate glimpse into how much money was spent by the various campaigns. I'm sure I missed a few things that I wouldn't if I were sober and being paid to do this.




DON NOWOTNY $148,000








That adds up to $936,000. Add in whatever the last three candidates spent, they likely didn't file campaign reports because their campaign spending was under the limit, and what outside interests spent and we're likely talking damn near a million dollar campaign.

Various unions, business interests and political interest groups spent money on behalf of some of the candidates. I don't know if it's possible to track that and my coke high is wearing off so thppppt.

The Cappleman campaign has about $50,000 in debt, most to JC himself, and the Phelan campaign has $5,000 in debt to Molly herself.

Since the election Cappleman's fundraising has continued and in the last reported quarter he raised $38,000. Mostly from various unions and business interest groups. Interestingly, Alderman Brendan Reilly who supported Molly Phelan to the tune of about 17-18 grand gave $1500 to Cappleman. If Brendan donates another ten grand to Cappleman I promise not to move to his ward after the redistricting.

I was thinking if the citizens of that ward want to elect a pudgy, balding fat Irish guy I should give them another choice and run myself. Reilly has $656,000 in his campaign fund. It's good to be alderman in the downtown area. I could use that kind of money for hookers and cocaine. Hmmmmmm. I'd have to call it a "fundraising expense".

In terms of money it's good to be alderman downtown. In terms of my life expectancy it's best I stay out of elected office and in Uptown.

I can see the headline now:

Alderman Found Dead Under Pile of Hookers and Cocaine. Safe found with four million dollars found hidden behind Spiro Agnew poster on wall.