Monday, April 20, 2015

To Sonic and Back: The 2015 46th Ward Money Race! Now in 3D.

Which campaign spent more $ in the aldermanic race? Cappleman's? Crawford's?
The answer isn't quite clear, like my skin as a 14 year old, but start looking around and popping the campaign zits and some interesting things become apparent.

Here are some approximate numbers for the money that was spent thru the end of March on the 46th Ward race by and for the Cappleman and Crawford campaigns. It's not exact and more money was obviously spent in the first seven days of April. Those numbers won't be publicly available until July 15th. Links are here for anyone interested enough to look. It's boring stuff.

Cappleman Disclosure Link

Crawford Disclosure Link


Oct-Dec Raised 110K
Loaned 35K

Spent 23K

Jan-Mar Raised 150K
Loaned 50K

Spent 286K

133K mail

76K TV

Totals Oct-Mar CRAWFORD

Raised 260K
Loaned 85K
Spent 309K



Oct-Dec Raised 82k
Spent 50K

Jan-Mar Raised 177K
Loaned zero
Spent 194K

29K polling

81K mail

Cappleman also benefited from say 70K of help from Rahmian affiliated PAC "Chicago Forward". I'm basing that number on media references I found. Some of the flyers sent out were paid for by Chicago Forward. I also recall getting some other postcard from some organization on Cappleman's behalf, but I can't remember the committee. Realtors? Let's round up and say Cappleman got 100K in outside committee help. It's likely a bit high, but I'm likely a bit drunk right now. I do have my pants and I'm not singing old Beatles tunes at the top of my lungs so perhaps drunk is not the right word. Tipsy?

Totals Oct-Mar

Raised 259K
Loaned ZERO
Spent 244K
ChicagoFWD 70K
Other 30K

Say 324-344K was spent on the Capplecampaign thru/through/threw the end of March.

Essentially similar amounts of money were spent by or for both campaigns through the end of March. Say 309K for Crawford and 324-344K for Cappleman. Both campaigns spent a shitload of cash on mailings and many trees died as a result. Maybe 30-50K more was spent by/for the Capplecampaign for mailings. Crawford spent 76K on TV related ads. Cappleman seemed to spend zero on TV ads which was a wise move from an experienced candidate with an experienced campaign team.

My take on Crawford's TV ads and her google internet ad campaign is that it was probably almost completely money wasted. It's like taking a shotgun to kill a mouse. It might work, but there's likely to be a whole lot of wasted buckshot and you could still miss the mouse. She may have felt compelled to spend that money based on her near zero real involvement in the ward prior to announcing her campaign. Amy who?

Those ad campaigns potentially reach perhaps a million people, but only a fraction of those people live in the 46th ward and then perhaps 1/4 of that number were likely to vote. Once you've reached that tiny demographic maybe a few hundred people who saw the ad were persuadable and if those ad campaigns caused more than a hundred or so people to vote for Amy Crawford I would be surprised. The money would have been better spent on campaign workers. GOTV(Get out the Vote) is more important than WAYOTV(WASTE YO MONEY ON TV) in a small local race.

As for the mailers towards the end of the campaign I suspect both campaigns were wasting their money. There comes a point of diminishing returns and at some point people just ignore or throw the mailers out. Also while beautifully made the great cartoon anti CapplePigeon ad was sent out at least two times. Maybe more? I received at least two copies of it. Once was enough AND while I have no way to prove it I suspect that Crawford flyer actually got more votes for Cappleman than it got for Crawford. People hate pigeons. Hate is a better motivator to get people to vote than love. "What Cappledude hates pigeons. F'n pigeons shit on my car. I'm voting for him." People luv their cars and hate pigeons.

I also thought the Cappleman flyers tying Crawford to the BP oil spill were a bit much and may have hurt his campaign a bit. I would have gone for something simpler because I'm a simple man. Say a flyer with four choices from A-D asking what position Crawford took on a particular issue with "D" being "all of the above" then putting a link to a game show parody site where voters could go on and guess which position Crawford took on an issue. Of course every voter would be a winner since she took all of the positions and each voter would win a "pander bear" GIF for any choice.

That's just me though. I'm wacky that way.


May 6th in the year of our lord 2015.

Amy Crawford donated 42K to her campaign on April 24th. I am now revising my suggestion that her campaign may have spent more money than was spent by and for the Cappleman campaign to LIKELY spent more than the Capplecampaign. 42K is a very specific number and it's likely the amount she needed to pay off her campaign debts. That's speculative at this point and we won't know more until July when more disclosures come out.

If I'm interpreting these tea leaves correctly she may have spent 40-50K in the last week of the campaign and afterward and is using the additional personal donation to pay off the campaign debt to herself and others. I could be wrong. It's been known to happen. If she is doing that it shows a level of fiscal integrity on her part. Too many candidates lose a race and never pay their remaining debts. It's also a good thing to do if she chooses to run again as it will give me one less thing to criticize her for. DAMMIT!

Crawford, Amy
Occupation: Attorney
Employer: Kirkland & Ellis
Chicago, IL 60640-3740 $42,000.00
4/24/2015 3A
Friends of Amy Crawford

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

The 2015 46th Ward Aldermanic Election--Episode 1: The Shillpire Strikes Back Episode 2: Return of the CapEye

Well loyal readers, all ten of you, here is what you've been waiting for. The IrishPirate farcicial take on the 46th Ward aldermanic election. What happened, why did it happen, who did what to whom and will George Lucas put memorabilia from it in his possible lakefront museum?

First, let's start off with the runup to the general election in February. In this our hero, James Cappleman from the planet Textooine, took on the combined forces of the old guard and the lesbian softball/FOP militia and was forced into a runoff. The old guard was represented by longtime Shillerite Sith Denice "Darth" Davis and a heretofore unknown Lith(Lesbian Sith) named Amy Crawford from the planetoid Columbus.

In a surprising development the combined Shillthian forces managed to avoid a rout in the battle and received a combined 53 percent in the election. They were aided by low turnout, the dark side(the capplehate)being more of a motivating factor that the force(capplelove), prodigious amounts of assistance from the twin planetoids Kirkland and Ellis, a slight realignment of the ward boundaries bringing in more votes from the planet Lakeview,Lithian influence in the security services(FOP) and endorsements from the fading twin moons SunnyTimes and Tribbyune.

The February results provided hope to the remnants of the Shillpire as they rallied around their surviving candidate the newly christened Larth Crader.

However, within mere days cracks started to appear in Larth Crader's persona. Her top aide General McAlpin was abruptly replaced by General Didech from the planet DePaul. Darth Davis's campaign guru Admiral Cortez defected to the Cappleside with background information about the status and heretofore secret supporters of Larth Crader. The public naming of such supporters such as bounty hunter Boba Kaplan and the former Queen's son Count Brendookie helped rally support to the Capplecause from throughout the ward.

Soon cracks appeared publicly in the FOP support Larth Crader received as questions arose why Security Services would align themselves with a candidate who was receiving the support of people who actively worked against their perceived interests. Noted supporters of the old order rallied to Larth Crader's defense in a vain attempt to stop the tide of the campaign from turning. Baron Von Twerker desperately tried to utilize his magical booty to save the day. He was joined by Captain Hooker who when not looking at pornography involving Howard Zinn, Castro, and Che Guevara tried to rally support utilizing his propaganda site Uptown Uprising. Fellow traveler and self proclaimed Jesus Person Baron VanderTrott rallied his troops by invoking images of noted Cappleman Jedi IrishPirate being forced to walk the plank. ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH. They were also joined by the Sybils of the old order Lord Quarky and his multiple ID's and Lady Chicagomumma.

The 42 days and nights between the general election and the runoff passed quickly as additional support rallied to the Capplecause and AlderYoda predicted the forces of the old order would be defeated. It was clear to disinterested observers that the pressure was getting to Larth Crader as she was seen to have a minor meltdown during a debate battle where she channeled her inner "Treasure of Sierra Madre" and famously had this exchange with our hero:

Cappleman: "If you've been involved then what meetings did you attend?"

Larth Crader: "Meetings? We ain't got no meetings. We don't need no meetings.
We don't need to go to no stinkin meetings!"

In desperation her supporters started reporting questionable sounds as gunfire and even took to riding tricycles throughout the ward in the hopes of being able to report dog flatulence as gang gunbattles on Lawrence Avenue. When not riding their trikes some of them even made montages showing Larth Crader center among other famous females who graduated from law schools and disseminated those montages using multiple ID's over and over and over.

Then election day came. One Crader stronghold opened late and to compensate was ordered to stay open for an extra hour. The first report from the battle came in at

7:24pm - 10 out of 40 precincts (25.00 %)

JAMES CAPPLEMAN - 1,511 - 49.90 %
AMY CRAWFORD - 1,517 - 50.10 %

For 11 minutes there was hope among the Craderites and Shilleristas that the old order would be restored and the dystopic Uptown of the past would once again be thought of as a Shining Light on Cricket Hill that all neighborhoods should emulate.

Then at 7:35pm - 19 out of 40 precincts (47.50 %)reported and it was clear that their hopes and efforts had been for naught. Their champion fell behind and the Capplelead continued to grow as the hours went on. At the Uptown Underground Ewok burlesque dancers entertained the crowd as the lead grew and the crowd waited anxiously for the arrival of their victorious champion with the full knowledge that the second victory was more important than the first victory four years before.

JAMES CAPPLEMAN - 3,033 - 52.87 %
AMY CRAWFORD - 2,704 - 47.13 %

The final totals as of today:

12982 total aldermanic votes

6971 James Cappleman 53.70%

6011 Amy Crawford 46.30%

........and the Ewoks danced as the deathstar exploded.